We all have an inner-child within us. If you had a great childhood, your inner-child is most likely care free and playful. However, if you were neglected or experienced abuse as a child, it is very likely that your inner-child is wounded.
Most of us grow up totally unaware that we even have a wounded inner-child. It’s the not being aware of it part, that’s the biggest problem. Which is why we probably don’t even realize that he/she is likely responsible for some of the negative issues in our daily lives.
When it comes to our negative behaviors and patterns, it’s really important to understand where it’s coming from. Acknowledging our inner-child, will help us to understand ourselves as a whole, our behaviors and to heal, so that we can become better versions of ourselves.
Here are 5 signs that you may have a wounded inner-child :
- You can’t trust anyone, not even yourself: Do you have some serious trust issues? This is a good indicator that your inner-child is wounded. This can explain why you are afraid to let anyone get too close to you, because you fear getting hurt again. This definitely impacts your relationships in negative way.
- You fear abandonment to the extreme: This can show up in different ways in your life, such as being afraid that people will leave you. You can be co-dependent, anxious and you may even act out aggressively towards your partner because of your fears. This causes major issues.
- You are vulnerable to addiction: There are many forms of addiction such as food, drugs, alcohol and even sex. Addiction is a way of self-medicating, usually due to some sort of trauma/pain that hasn’t been dealt with. The problem with addiction is, the pain is still there and you are adding to it by not treating yourself with love.
- You have trouble setting boundaries: Creating boundaries is an important part of being an adult. Children that experienced trauma are made to feel like that their feelings don’t’ matter. They grow up not knowing how to create healthy boundaries or the create boundaries so firm that it keeps the wrong people from getting too close.
- You people-please, in order to avoid friction with others: People-pleasers sacrifice their feelings and needs for those around them in order to avoid conflict. This can result from a childhood where your needs and emotions were forced into silence and devalued. It’s as though you are doing to yourself, what was done to you as a child.
These are just some indicators that you may have a wounded inner-child. If these things are sounding familiar, what can you do? Well, they say the first step is acknowledging your inner-child exists and facing his/her pain. Perhaps you can start a journal, talk to your confidant or therapist and/or look into what’s called inner-child work. Most importantly, practice self-love, because your inner-child is a part of you and no one can help her heal but you!
Until next time,
Love, Drea
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