Every day my daughter shows me a new dance she’s learned on TikTok. I had no idea what TikTok even was, until recently, when I became curious and downloaded it myself. I must say, it can be kind of addicting, watching those short clips of people expressing themselves. Anyway, last night I couldn’t sleep and a young lady read a quote that really got to me:
“If you weren’t given love on a silver spoon, then you will lick it off of knives.”
Woah! I think I played the video several times, just to let it sink it. And it made me reflect on my life as well as others close to me, whose life choices reflected an inability to figure out what real love looked like. For me personally, I remembered walking away from failed relationships or even friendships, often pointing the blame on the other person for their failure to love me the right way.
However, as I have become more awakened to who I am and who I am becoming, I realize that they were not fully to blame. The truth is, if I knew what love really looked like, I would not have allowed certain individuals into my life. Those frogs that I allowed to kiss me and all the time wasted on friendships that took way more than they gave, would never have occurred. But, such is life! As we live and if we are willing, we will continue to learn. What we do with that knowledge is what counts.
Honestly, I am still learning what love looks like. Using God as my guide, I am learning what love is and what it is not. Love will never make you compromise your integrity and put you in “situations”. It will not belittle or hurt you. Love will not love bomb you and then gaslight you every chance it gets. Love will not withhold its self from you. Love will not give you the silent treatment or watch you cry and do nothing. Love will not make you forget your dreams and needs, only to satisfy the dreams and needs of others. Love will not lie, abuse, cheat or steal from you. I could go on, but I am sure you get the point.
I think the most important thing that I have learned about love so far is that you must first find it within yourself. You have to learn how to love yourself (as cliché as it sounds). Nothing and no one outside of you will ever be able to love you better than you can. Therefore, you must go within, to the place where God resides for the answers. He did not put you here to be mistreated or to “lick it off of knives” as the girl on Tik Tok said. You were put here to love and to be loved, the right way. No matter how you grew up!
No one knows you better than you do. No one knows what you need, what you want and what you don’t want better than you. There are those who seek out people who don’t know what love is. They will give you scraps, mistreat you and tell you it’s love.
You/we deserve better than that. If we don’t take the time to identify and understand what real love truly is, we will take what is given to us by those who know that we don’t know any better. Remember that.
Until next time,
Love,
Drea
Conversations With Drea 
Amen! You hit the nail on the head of what so many experience. Self perseverance, love, and disconnecting from apathetic, selfish people is so important. It can be very confusing and complicated since the people who are the “knives” are often titled spouse, parent, friend, etc. These relationships are mixed in with history, good and bad. Shared experiences, shared circles…Relationships where love and neglect are an abstract image of a dark well with no clear lines. The place where we get lost and are almost afraid to admit what we are looking at because the true picture destroys any beauty we have created in our minds to feel comfortable in the distorted image.
There are so many that have a well full of love that people continually draw from but never replenish. You give and give and have a temporary feeling of satisfaction because you have nourished someone. They are empowered and have the strength to conquer their dreams. The problem with being the well is that when the takers are done with their fill they will leave you dried up and immobilized. We need to learn how to fill ourselves, not just to give, but to never feel empty. We must also learn how to put a lid on it to the ones that use us until their is nothing left.
Thank you for the post! It was very enlightening. ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes! Exactly! Well said! Thank you so much for taking the time to comment.
LikeLiked by 1 person