I don’t know about you, but this past year’s experience has given me the opportunity to reflect on a lot of things in my life. I mean, what else did we have to do with all of that time at home during the quarantine, right?
So, I asked myself a question: What is the biggest lesson learned during 2020? While there have been many lessons, one thing that stuck out in the foreground was the impact of the many distractions which I’ve allowed to derail me from my purpose and/or my goals.
I quickly realized that I have had several goals deferred and even abandoned. All because I’ve allowed people, things, thoughts and emotions to distract me from maintaining my focus. The further back in time I looked back, I realized that I have done this far too often and how much time and progress I’ve lost. It’s like a pattern. One minute, I am on the right track with great intentions, motivated and ready. The next thing you know, I find myself derailed, lost and struggling to find my way back. Allow me to elaborate.
People: My relationships have been the most distracting influence of them all. I have been historically known to focus most of my attention on the people around me. Constantly giving all of myself, ensuring that others feel supported and loved, even when it was seldom reciprocated. To be quite honest, I was so focused on giving/pleasing that I rarely realized the lack of reciprocity. That is of course, until my cup became empty and I needed it to be refilled, only to receive nothing.
Emotions: Then the emotions would kick in. Blame, anger, resentment, sadness, and indifference. A tug of war in my head would ensue, wasting my mental productivity on thoughts that kept me preoccupied at nights and even in the day, as I desperately tried to find a solution as well as my emotional balance.
Things: One of the other major things (for lack of a better category) which distracted me, was the dissatisfaction of my job. While it financially served its purpose, it drained me mentally and even spiritually. By the time I got home from work, I was utterly exhausted and had little desire, if at all, to work on my own projects/goals or to enjoy simple pleasures like family time.
What’s the bottom line you ask? Well, I’ve learned that I have much more control over these distractions, than I thought. I control the people who I give access to in my life. Once I figured that out, I let go of friendships that I have deemed toxic and I’ve become less available to others. Instead of pouring all of myself into others, I now pour into me. I pay more attention to my needs and I do more of what I love, which includes working towards my goals.
I have even made adjustments with my job. And In terms of my thoughts and emotions, I practice mental maintenance every single day. Which simply means, I plan my mental intake daily. Always ensuring that the things I listen to, read and watch are going to either educate, motivate or give me the peace that I need in order to maintain the right frame of mind. It may not seem like much to some, but the quality of my life and the progress I have made has been incredible!
Until next time,
Love, Drea
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